Yesterday I talked to my cousin. At the end of the conversation, she said: “If something doesn’t suit you — don’t complain, just change it.” And I totally agree. But…

There are people who really do just take action — they lose weight, change jobs, move to another city, leave toxic relationships. For them, “Just do it” could be a life motto. And that’s great.

But there are others. People like me. The ones held back by something inside. Something that tightens, freezes, slows them down. Sometimes it’s hard to explain — like something invisible is keeping you in place, and you just can’t move forward. I know there are a lot of things I need to change. But I can’t get myself to act.

I want to share what I feel in those moments. Not to complain or make excuses — just to be honest.

The first thing that stops me is the scale of it all. There’s just too much to change. The sheer size of the task paralyzes me. I don’t know where to start or what to do first. Everything feels important and impossible at the same time.

I don’t feel motivated to change. I know how absurd that sounds — I’m at rock bottom, so I should be overflowing with motivation. But I’m not. People get used to everything — even emptiness. I’ve lived in this state for so long, it feels normal.
I’ve tried to find motivation:
– For myself — didn’t work.
– For my parents — didn’t work either.
– For women — one more failed attempt.
I still don’t feel any strong motivation. But deep down, I know: I have to change for myself.

Maybe I’m stuck because of all the unresolved things from my past. So many times I tried to change, set goals, started something — and never finished. Now I’m just disappointed in myself. I’m afraid that new goals will only become more unfinished stories… and I’ll be even more disappointed.

I’m also impulsive. I can get excited and start something quickly — but then burn out just as fast. I can’t keep a steady pace. I lack consistency. I lack discipline. And that’s a real problem.

Another thing — I focus too much on results, not the process. I don’t know how to work on something for years without seeing results. I need to feel the reward. I need to see progress. That’s why I should set small, reachable goals — things I can achieve in a few weeks or months.

And maybe the root of it all is even deeper — immaturity. I’ve never learned to take responsibility. I’ve lived with my parents my whole life. They always made the decisions, and I… just existed. A little boy in a grown man’s body. It’s painful to write this — but it’s true.

So, what’s the takeaway?

First of all, I realize I have a lot of psychological issues that keep me from living a full life. My unhealthy life is a reflection of my unhealthy thoughts. And those thoughts come from a disturbed emotional and mental state. That’s where I need to start — by working on my mind and my inner state.

A quick note to those who live by “just do it”: There may be people around you like me — people who also want to change, but can’t. Imagine being stuck in quicksand. You’re sinking, you want to get out — but it’s pulling you deeper. This isn’t laziness. It’s powerlessness. Don’t judge. Try to understand.

And one more thing — right now, my posts may be chaotic, scattered. That’s because my mind is chaos. I’m trying to bring some order. Right now, this blog isn’t about change. It’s about trying to understand myself. About honest analysis. About the very beginning of the journey.